Is it realistic to be in a relationship and not expect change? We live in a world full of endless opportunities for growth and transformation. What type of soap did you use today? Where did you go for lunch? When’s the last time you upgraded your phone? What new policy did you have to sign this year?
We’re presented with options for change every day, yet we expect our partners to stay the same.
Relationships are meant to go through stages and phases. As an individual, we experience our own growth and development, which naturally occurs in stages. The person I am today looks very different from who I was in my twenties or teens. I had to experience life and learn how to react to situations in the moment. I didn’t know how to parent, until I became a parent—and I’m still figuring things out.
How my husband experienced me in my twenties versus now is very different.
If we ourselves change, why do we struggle to grow with our partners? It is okay to figure things out along the way. It is okay not to be perfect. It is okay to disagree. It is okay not to be the same person your partner fell in love with years ago, whether that was 10 years ago or even three years ago.
Like our jobs, relationships require training and development. They require both partners to have an open mind, an open heart, and a willingness to learn while leveraging outside resources.
Resources to consider:
· Couples therapy
· Church group
· Sex therapist
· Personal trainer
· Relationship coach
· And more!
Take a moment to think about your current or previous relationship:
· How have you changed?
· How has your partner changed?
· What role are you playing in this stage of your relationship?
· Where can you spend more time investing in your relationship or yourself?
· How have you communicated your needs with your partner?
No matter where you are in your journey, it’s okay to change. But changing your partner should not be the first option on your list.
Note: This article is written from personal experience and opinion. Being in a safe relationship is a priority; therefore, if you’re in an unsafe relationship, seek help by calling 800-799-7233 or text BEGIN to 88788.
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